My D.O.E

When I decided to ditch my over a decade career in engineering and ventured into Human Resources, I didn't exactly know what I want to ended up as. It was like playing back my 1980's memory of being asked that lame question of "What do you want to become when you grow up?" Ironically enough, I remember being confident with my answer...it was either Lawyer or Teacher. I really am envious with that confident 8 year old...what have happened to her since then? Why am I no longer have that humongous confidence to announce to the world of what I want to 'grow' up into?!

Through out my journey on seeking that 'ideal' job, I begin to realize that I am actually going through a huge experiment. Sadly though, I am the lab rat. I thought that the best way to derive a conclusion of this experiment is to use DoE which I have learned and applied during my tenure as a design engineer for Motorola. Design of Experiment (DoE) is a structured, organized method that is used to determine the relationship between the different factors (Xs) affecting a process and the output of that process (Y). This method was first developed in the 1920s and 1930, by Sir Ronald A. Fisher, the renowned mathematician and geneticist. While I can not guarantee the accuracy of the formula I have came up with, but it sure does eliminate the 'white noise'.

Let's say, the output (Y) that I seek for is 'happiness @ work'. From my experience of 13 years earning an income as a living, my Xs are:

F(happiness @ work) = f(boss; gender & race) + f(work nature) + f(environment/culture) + f (income)

1st stop; R&D Engineer @ Robert Bosch Penang
Formula = F(happiness @ work) = f(male European) + f(R&D, creative, always changing) + f(coorperative) + f(moderate $)
Output = okay

2nd stop; R&D Engineer @ Motorola Penang
Formula = F(happiness @ work) = f(male American) + f(R&D, creative, learning) + f(cooperative, respectful) + f(high $)
Output = Happy

3rd stop; HR Consultant @ Motorola Singapore
Formula = F(happiness @ work) = f(female chinese) + f(HR, administrative) + f(competitive) + f(high $)
Output = Miserable

4th stop; HR Senior Manager @ Mimos, M'sia
Formula = F(happiness @ work) = f(female Malay) + f(HR, administrative, strategic) + f(complacent) + f(high $)
Output = Miserable

5th stop; HR Consultant @ Consulting firm
Formula = F(happiness @ work) = f(male chinese) + f(HR, strategic) + f(competitive) + f(moderate $)
Output = unhappy

There you have it, the various findings at various stops so far. Using the following scale, I studied each X factor and determine whether or not they play a role as a determinant of my Y.
0= miserable (can't bear it)
1=unhappy (dragging my feet to work)
2=okay(not looking fwd to work, but don't drag my feet either)
3=happy (feel belong and add value)
4=Estatic! (looking fwd to work every day!)

1st X factor = Boss
1st stop --> (2)okay = f(male European)
2nd stop --> (3)happy = f(male American)
3rd stop --> (0)miserable = f(female Chinese)
4th stop --> (0)miserable = f(female Malay)
5th stop --> (1)unhappy = f(male Chinese)

Conclusion = x(boss) = gender does not play a role. Race seems to have an effect. I work well for non-Asian boss.

following the same deduction method, I reach the following conclusion
x(work nature)= I am happier in R&D than HR
x(environment/culture) = I am happier in cooperative environment than competitive or complacent
x(income)= money seem to have no impact to my fulfillment at work

Hence, in DOE terms, my finding can be concluded as below;

F(happiness @ work) = f(non Asian boss) + f(job which deals with things,not people) + f(cooperative culture)

There could be more X factors which I have not considered since I have not experienced them (i.e having no boss at all), but I'll improvise my formula as I go. But as of today, the above is good enough determinant should I decide to apply or accept a new job offer...or maybe try an entirely new experiment to have a career break!

What Makes You Happy?

I'm reading this book by Marcus Buckingham titled 'Find Your Strongest Life- what most successful and happiest women do differently'. Interesting finding from the book, women in this age are far more less happy than women 40 years ago, despite of having "it all' - a good education, career, financial stability, spouse, children, etc. Sadly enough I have to agree with this stat. I too feel less fulfilled, though it seems I have the almost perfect life to some. I mostly blame it on my high-demanding career. But then I met a few friends who are housewives, completely dedicated to the upbringing of their family...I don't see a contented, fulfilled faces either. What is wrong with this picture?

I read this article on oprah.com, and I think this Dr. have asked quite good questions. A true friend or motivator, doesn't necessarily have the right answer, but they know how to ask. For most of the time, we have the answer lies in ourselves.

Read on...

What Would It Take to Make You Happy?

By: M.Chestnut, O, The Orah Magazine | March 03 2010

I'm great at articulating precisely what would make me miserable—a job as a sewage engineer, bungee jumping, a butt so big it needs its own zip code—but I'm not as glib on the subject of what would cause my heart to sing.

The last time the issue came up, I went running to my bookshelf and discovered that Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., the O magazine columnist, had dealt with the happiness thing in his book Life Strategies. "Most people do not know how to describe what they want, because they don't have a clue what it really is," Dr. Phil writes. "How often, for example, have you heard someone else say, 'All I really want in this life is to be happy'? It sounds like a commonsense answer, but as a life goal, it is destined for failure."

I called Dr. Phil to learn more. "How do you figure out specifically what you want in life?" I asked.

"You must ask yourself a series of four questions," he told me. They are: What do I want? What must I do to have it? How would I feel when I have it? So, what I really want is to feel ___ (fill in the blank)?

Once you've answered these questions, you circle back for round two (and maybe three and four) of the same questions. And—this is important—you can't give the same answer twice. The idea, Dr. Phil said, is to keep digging deeper, for root answers. "Most people start out with something pretty superficial," he said, "like wanting a new job, a new car, or a new husband—something external to themselves. But what they really want is pride in themselves, for example."

If you play this game alone, writing down your answers is helpful; if you do it with a friend, choose someone you trust. And remember: This is a "What do you want?" exercise that should be followed by the drawing up of a "How do you get it?" real-life action plan.

To demonstrate how the exercise works, Dr. Phil sat down with a volunteer in his Dallas office and talked her through it. Jackie (not her real name) is 31. Notice how her happiness goal shifts as they talk.

Phil McGraw: Jackie, when you think about creating a plan for your life, I want you to first answer a simple question: What do you want?

Jackie: I want to be financially successful.

PM: And what do you have to do to become financially successful?

J: I have no clue where to start.

PM: That's okay—start with the things you can do to move toward that goal.

J: I'd have to start by having a great job.

PM: So if you had a great job and became financially successful, how would you feel?

J: As if I'd accomplished something.

PM: So what you really want is a sense of accomplishment? What would it take for you to feel that?

J: Well, it'd have to be difficult—I mean, nothing that you want in life is really easy.

PM: So you'd have to face some challenges?

J: Right.

PM: And if you had faced those challenges and had accomplished a few goals, how would you feel then?

J: I couldn't just stop there. I'd think, There's got to be something beyond this. There's always more.

PM: So what you really want is to feel as if you're on the move in your life. What will you have to do to feel that?

J: I'd have to stop denying that I'm stuck.

PM: How are you going to feel when there's no more denial in your life?

J: Fulfilled. And proud of myself.

PM: And how will you feel when you can honestly say, "I am really proud of myself because I've got a step-by-step plan—no more denial"?

J: On top of the world.

PM: And what exactly does that mean?

J: Free.

PM: So what you really want is to be free—free of a sense of being bogged down, free of a sense of living in denial.

J: Yes.

PM: Jackie, you've said, "I want to be proud. I want to be fulfilled. I want to be free." And you know yourself better than anybody else does. What will you have to do so that you can feel that way?

J: I'll have to be disciplined. And I must be open to the challenge of change.

PM: Very good. If you started living your life in a disciplined way, instead of in a "if it feels good, do it" sort of way, and if you opened yourself up to challenge instead of running from it, how would you feel?

J: I'd feel like I have a place in the world—and I won't always be wishing that I were somebody else.

PM: So what you really want is to accept yourself for who you are and feel like you belong somewhere in this world?

J: Yes.

PM: What a great goal that is!

Do you LOVE your job?

I was at home yesterday, down with flu, cough & headache. Dr. gave me some medicine that supposedly to knock me down hence she gave me the day off and asked me to rest. I have a few to do list to catch up, but decided to follow Dr's order to really rest.

While lying down on the sofa, my sweet Alyssa came and asked "how come you are not at work, mummy?". "I'm sick, honey". Silence. Then she asked "Do you LOVE your job?". I took a while to answer. "I like it, but I don't LOVE it". Quickly I asked her the same question, trying to avoid her follow-up 'why?' question. Such a relief to hear her say " I LIKE & LOVE my school". Which is obvious, she looks forward to go to school, started immediately on her homework once she reached home, and shared her daily routine with us voluntarily.

Unfortunately for me; the story is opposite. I DON'T look forward to work, I procastinate every job that I have, and I stop sharing about the happenings at work.

I have been to a few job interviews recently, looking yet for another escape. But in all the interviews, I hear the same theme' bigger responsibility, more time away from family, more stress, more tired...though they offer more MONEY. I have been down that route before, when money was not a problem but time & energy was. I knew what it's like, I know how it feels. Question is should I maintain the same route to complete my journey? Soon, I will be 36. Another 4 years before I hit 40. The Prophet Muhammed SAW once said "Sesiapa yang berusia 40 tahun, amalan kebajikannya belum mengatasi amalan kejahatannya, maka bersedialah ia ke neraka Allah." (Riwayat Tabrani). Scary thought...

a short poem I got from another blogger, which serve me right;

engkau beriya mahu syurga..
tapi kau cinta dunia..
kau sayang pada agama..
tapi kau tidak mengangkatnya..
setakat fardhu yang kau laksana..
kau dah rasa sempurna..
kemudian engkau boleh kata..
yang haram itu tak apa..
sikit saja.
sampai kapan mahu di takuk lama?


I seriously don't know what's stopping me from leaving this kind of 'world' (the one I am used to) to a new world. I must confront and conquer my fear, and have greater faith. I hope that one day I would be able to answer just as confident as my sweet girl; "I LOVE my job!".