SOUNDTRACK: Shila's Survival Guidein Singapore

How can I sum up my experiences working in Singapore, in a way that would make people understand? I could write all bits and pieces, but it'll end up as thick as any Tolkien's books, with chapter 13:Office Politics being the thickest and most moist (with my saliva from all my curses and swearing).

Maybe a string of songs which have accompanied me in my journey on this materialist, soulless island could do a better job at describing my state of mind. Just like a soundtrack of a movie, the selected songs are supposed to 'bring home' the message of a particular part of a story. Okay, I'll do just that then...my very own Soundtrack (atau runut bunyi bak kata orang Pahang), with bonus of "Books which helped me along the way".

p/s: For the record, Singapore is not the first out of Malaysia country I work in. I have worked in US & Germany before. Author's reminder to readers to avoid the conclusion of such a 'katak bawah tempurung" I am.

The first 3 months:

Soundtrack: Michael Buble 'Home' / Readings: 8th Habit by Stephen R. Covey

I played this song on my laptop (with earphones on) almost everyday at work, until my 'understanding & supportive' boss told me to stop listening to music at work. "You are creating boundaries with others," was her lame excuse. The chorus "Let me go home....." strikes a raw nerve...I have missed my friends & family...people who give a damn about other people. Slowly I told myself...."It's just a matter of time...you'll get over this.."

The 2nd quarter :

Soundtrack: Dave Matthews Band "Sing Along' / Readings: The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey

By this time, it puzzled me how other fellow Penangites were able to survive here. Slowly I can clearly see the unspoken rules of the game in order to get along with the majority. In short, if at all I want to make it, I need to do all of these:

1. accept total command & control. whoever is higher than you in ranking, has an automatic higher decree of truth in his/her speech, so much so that even to question it (even out of need to understand) is considered as insubordination.

2. accept the fact that I must be able to control my brain not to get too creative because 'things are different here. It just won't work".

3. accept that it is a norm to be talking bad about a fellow colleague who is not present during lunch or even at formal meeting. When the person turns up, do not attempt to confront him/her for the real truth. Act friendly.

4. Doing the right thing is secondary to your personal gain (saving own face is included as personal gain).

5. Before agreeing to do any job, the first question one should ask is "what's in it for me?" and "how much additional job are we talking exactly?". If the answers to the above questions are "Nothing, besides your regular pay" and "A lot" respectively...then it's your obligation to your own self to act dumb and shut up, so that no one will nominate you to take up the job.

6. Any problem, especially interpersonal related are not to be confronted openly in order to be resolved. Let it fester, Remain friendly and say nice things to the people you don't like when in front of them, but act completely differently in their absence.

7. If 'great sense of accountability' is included in the annual performance rating, then the company would save millions from having to pay salary increament. A skill called 'dodging' accountability at all cost (you can by find a scapegoat, creating rumors to embellish one's reputation, back stabbing, manipulation) is an absolute must have. Nothing is considered disgraceful as long as you won't get the blame or own up and say "I'm sorry, I screwed up."

8. Being proactive can back fire. So just remain reactive. Why fix if it ain't broken?

9. Surface value is utmost important. Doesn't matter if you produce sub-standard work, as long as people ( a bonus if it's your boss) noticed you to be the earliest in the office, or latest to leave for home. If you can't do this, then you need to log on at wee hours in the morning to send un-urgent email. It doesn't matter if you have only $2 in your purse, and string of heavily used credit cards as long as they are in either LV, Coach or Burberry purse or handbag.

10. It is entirely acceptable to say completely opposite views from the ones you truly believe in, depending on the audience. You are allowed (or even expected) to sway your view towards the ones you have high investment in, be it the highest ranking person (for the fear of insubordination) or your direct boss (for he/she has your increment in his/her hands) or your lunch mate (they might talk bad about you when you're not around, or worst ditch you from the lunch group). Bottom line is : Do not risk ANYTHING over the truth.

For weeks, I went thru all the lists, and wonder which one, if not all I can accept and live with. When I felt sick in the stomach and my soul was strangling me from within to knock some sense out of me, I decided not to accept even one, and remain true to my self and the principles I believe in. I choose to take the road less travelled. Which I soon learned was a bad decision, but nonetheless I am happy I still have my soul as my best friend.

The 3rd quarter:

Soundtrack: Linkin Park 'Given Up' / Readings : How To Deal With People You Can't Stand

To be honest, I learned this song from my hubby. I stumbled upon it by accident on his ipod. I cried bad when I first hear it (yes Linkin Park song CAN make you cry). I could feel my husband's suffering at work from the lyrics. And the combined guilt and helplessness I feel for uprooting the family to come here, consumed me like fire on dead leaves.

The 4rth quarter: (the present)

Soundtrack: Linkin Park "From The Inside" / Readings : Don't Be Sad by Sheikh al-Qadni

I found this song today. And it's rather timely too since I was looking for my last words to my boss and fellow co-workers, on the day I call my personal 'Merdeka' September 29th 2008. It will be the day I'll celebrate my 34 years on earth, and I will have the greatest birthday gift ever: They have approved my request to transfer to another department...as a transition before my next, exciting, very intriguing, fulfilling assignment: Helping my fellow Penangites at home!

It's Only Words

Despite being technically trained, I have always have the fancy for words & language. I should've been a Linguist or Speech Therapist. Oh well, next life maybe. In the mean time, I'd just fulfill my long lost dream with this blog and some other writing forms.

My brother just saw they put my book on Ebay for RM4.00!!! Okay, that's an exaggeration for sure....not MY book, but I contributed to the book. My poem was chosen to win a Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka contest back in 1991 and they have compiled it in a book. But it felt good to have selected, even though the royalty from the book selling was minuscule.

One my favorite Poet, Mufti Perlis Dr. Muhammad Asri bin Zainal Abidin wrote a nice poem in response ( I presume) to the recent Permatang Pauh by-election. Titled "Looking For a Replacement", this candid, straight to the point poem has a very poignant conclusion which I loved so very much; "Let's find a replacement with a high character. Let's not replace a thief with a robber". Ouch! That's gotta hurt!.

Wise words help me heal, think and learn. I think I will dedicate a special folder in this blog of mine, to share all the poems & songs lyrics that have helped me in my life in their unique way. These poems will be included in my "Things I Left Behind For My Children" list, along with my books. May be a tad of bad news for them for the list contains no house, no land or any money. Just my favorites 'must-read' books & poems. Just words, my dear children...to help strengthen your inner self on your daily walks towards Him.

Ticked by Office Politics

Three....is a nice number. But not so nice when it's equal to the total number of REAL FRIENDS I have made so far during my 11 months in Singapore.

My back hurt pretty bad today, when I touched it, it bleeds. I have been stabbed in the back (though not literally, it still hurts nonetheless) for the umpteenth time, by my fellow co-workers. I refused to use to word colleagues to define them, since by definition of Thesaurus.com, "colleagues" means:

Synonyms:
aide, ally, assistant, associate, buddy, cohort, compatriot, confrere, consort, crony, partner, teammate
Roget's II: The New Thesaurus
Main Entry:
associate
Definition:
One who is united in a relationship with another.
Synonyms:
affiliate, ally, cohort, confederate, copartner, fellow, partner

From the above synonym list: aide, ally, buddy, cohort, partner, teammate, fellow....all are OVERSTATEMENT which should not be used to describe majority of people I am currently working with.

Yes...you've guessed it. I am pissed. In fact, I am wayyyy beyond pissed.

I won't smear my blog or this holy month of Ramadan by describing in details their despicable schemes, which I have never encountered before in my 11 years of career. By the end of this year, I figure I should be able to write a book titled "Office Politics and the Cowards it Produced".

To survive my 10 hours in the office yesterday was almost unbearable. Maybe Ramadan helps to heighten my patience limit, or I am just too hungry to give them a piece of my mind ... either way they are lucky. I spent the whole night reading one of my favorite remedies, which is helpful at trying time like this; "Don't Be Sad" By Sheikh 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al Qarni. In the chapter "How to deal with bitter criticism", the wise Sheikh wrote this potent advice:

"Those who are ignorant have curses at Allah, the Exalted, the Creator of all that exists, so what treatment should we, who are full of faults, expect from people? You will always have to face criticism, which in its onslaught is like an interminable war: it shows no sign of ending. As long as you shine, give, produce, and have an effect upon others, then disapproval and condemnation will be you lot in life. Until you escape from people by finding a tunnel in the ground or a ladder leading to the sky, they will not desist from censuring you, from finding fault in your character.

And here is something you should contemplate: a person who is sitting on the ground does not fall, and people do not kick a dead dog. Therefore their anger toward you can be attributed to you surpassing them in righteousness, knowledge, manners, or wealth. In their eyes, you are a transgressor whose wrongs cannot be atoned for - unless you abandon your talents and strip yourself of all praiseworthy qualities, so that you become stupid, worthless, and to them, innocuous. This result IS exactly what they want for you.

So remain firm and patient when facing their insults and criticism. If you are wounded by their words, and let them have influence over you, you will have realized their hopes for them. Instead forgive them by showing them the most beautiful of manners. Turn away from them and do not feel distressed by their schemes. Their disapproval of you only increases you in worth and merit.

Verily, you will not be able to silence them, but you will be able to bury their criticism by turning away from them and dismissing what they have to say.

Say: Perish in your rage. (Qur'an 3:119)

In fact, you will be able to increase them in their own rage by increasing your merits and developing your talents. I you desire to be accepted by all and loved by all, you desire the unattainable."

I savour each word, just like I did the delicious fried rice my maid prepared for iftar just now. I cried after every sentence (though this is not the first time I'm reading this book), embarrassed at my own stupidity for allowing them to piss me off. He makes so much sense, that I feel very much better now. Thank you Sheikh, may Allah rewards you with your kind work.

and Alhamdulillah, praise to you my Lord, for your Kindness

and to those whom I wrote about in this entry, Thank you for the experience. I have never imagined human can be so low.